Ruth in Retirement...

On a recent road trip home from southern California, my friend Joan and I stopped in Ventura to visit Ruth Bockelman. She and Herb had built the Hale 'Aha Bed and Breakfast on Kauai, in 1990. Bob and I met them when we won First Prize on the KFAX Radio contest in 1992, and got to spend a week with them. We were privileged to serve as their Inn Sitters every winter after that, for 4 to 10 weeks, and we acknowledge their generosity in that. Those were perhaps the happiest years of our lives.

After Herb died suddenly from a heart attack, here on the mainland, Ruth discovered she could no longer run the B&B as before, in spite of helpful friends, and family. So, she eventually sold it, and retired to Hemet, CA, near her son. And before long, she moved to Ventura near one of her daughters.

When we found her residence, we signed in as guests, but I didn't want the clerk to let Ruth know who was here to visit her. I wanted to surprise her. She came down the elevator and looked intently at me, and said, "I can't think of your name, but I know I love you." We hugged, and I showed her a photo of Bob and me, and she said, "Oh, Doris and Bob!" And it was as though we had seen each other only last week.

She is content there, has beautiful grounds to walk around, and a lovely neighborhood to walk in, swimming pools, and gardens to enjoy. She chatted about old times, and mentioned people she remembers. My friend Joan took a picture or two with my camera, but I didn't have the flash set, so they are blurry. But this one of Ruth alone is sweet, and clear. I'm sure she would appreciate a note from you, though I'm not sure she will answer it. Maybe a phone call would do (but notes can be saved and reread).

Ruth Bockelman

1220 Cypress Point Lane #103
Ventura, CA 93003

Phone: 1-805 642-2401

Remembering Nancy Brakhane...

Nancy and Elton Brakhane came from Glendale, AZ, he a tall lanky gentleman, quiet, reserved, and she a bubbly blonde who made friends with Bob and me as soon as we met her. As the breakfast conversations usually go, people pretty much tell their stories the first day, and continue to build on them the rest of their stay. We found out that Elton had Leukemia, and that it was in remission. Amazing.

Bob had always been interested in health and healing, and vitamins and minerals, and so he prodded Nancy regarding how Elton had been treated. This was in 1996, and we had yet to go through the loss of our daughter Janice to breast cancer, 11 years later.

We talked about Chelation therapy, (dripping high doses of vitamin C directly into the blood stream over a long period of time), and so on. We told them about our hosts, Ruth and Herb Bockelman. They were due home in just a day or two, from the Mainland. Herb was suffering from high blood pressure, and when Bob and I went to meet them at the airport in Lihue, they brought Herb down in a wheel chair! We were shocked to say the least. Immediately, I wondered how Ruth was going to run the B&B if Herb was in a wheelchair.

Bob and I were scheduled to leave for home in a day or two. Later, we found out that Nancy was able to convince Herb and Ruth that Chelation therapy could help his condition. So, their doctor with the help of another doctor on the island began this unusual lengthy treatment.

Later, we learned that Herb regained strength, happily lost some weight, and stood tall and strong all the next year. Able to serve the guests at the B&B as he had for years. Until on vacation in California, after a long hike in the desert, he had a massive heart attack on December 5, 1997 and the Lord called him Home, to the real Paradise in the heavenlies.

Nancy and I exchanged emails for all these years. Usually they were a copy of some humorous story, or perhaps a lovely spiritual article. Then, I began sending her the "blonde jokes" and she took them all in stride. Elton seemed to be thriving, and we were thankful for this.

Last week I sent her another blonde joke. I was shocked when I received an email from Elton, that the Lord had called Nancy Home. She never complained to me, or even told me she was suffering from cancer. She just got herself ready and went to be with the Lord. What a testimony. She's the first of all "our" hundreds of guests at Hale 'Aha, to go to the real Paradise.

I wonder if going to Kauai was just the preparation we all need?

Now, where was I....

Summer has gone, fall is about over, and winter will soon be here. It happens this way every year. But it's hard to tell what season it is, when you are over in Hawaii.

Flowers continue to bloom in December, and fruit matures in January or March. And what people are wearing makes no difference, because shorts and flowered shirts are a year round custom. The locals may wear a sweater over their tank tops when it gets down to 74 degrees.

My son John and I have gotten caught up in certain TV shows. "The Amazing Race" is our favorite, "Survivor" is second, and "Lost" is somewhere after that. While watching "Lost" I get excited whenever I see a scene filmed on Kauai, familiar to me from our days there, and I can't seem to restrain myself from shouting out something like, "Oh look at that. That's where Dad and I sat and watched for dolphins. Right there, at the end of that pier!" Poor John. He'd like to watch it without the documentary.

But he has been kind to record the story, and stop the video long enough to take a picture of the scene. Here's where Bob and I sat under that roof to watch for dolphins one Sunday afternoon. Didn't see a one.


The pier is in Hanalei Bay, and used to be used for off-loading bags of rice and oranges to be shipped to Japan. Yes, rice to Japan. The railroad tracks are still there, leading up to the pier. Or at least they were, in 1995.

All the beautiful jungle scenes seem to be filmed in the Kalalau Valley, where we sometimes took guests to view the Na Pali Coast.

Even "The Amazing Race" had scenes of Kauai, when racing couples had to find a certain "Haul Cane Road," or get buckets of water while transversing Opaeaka Waterfall on steel lines. Takes all the romance out of a song like "Beautiful Kauai" sung by Larry Rivera, when you are worried more about a couple falling into the water below, instead of noticing the rainbows down in the falls. I couldn't quite contain myself, much less want to try. Those were places in some of my happiest memories, and I have to share them with SOMEBODY.

One year later...

One year ago, at precisely 10:00 this morning, my beloved Bob was startled awake by Someone I couldn't see. He said quickly, "Amen! Amen! Amen!" and when I asked him if he was answering someone, or was praying, he didn't answer. His attention was focused on two different areas above him, and a few minutes later, he let out his last breath and passed from this earth into heaven above.

I know Heaven is above, because everything in the Bible talks about God coming DOWN to earth, or going UP "where the clouds received Him out of their sight. "

Kauai was probably as close to heaven as we could get while on earth. So, even though Bob had begun his chemo therapy for cancer, and had endured the indignation of a catheter for a time, the doctor said he could go to Kauai in May, 2004.

Other than getting tired more easily, and preferring to drive on errands rather than walk, he could have fooled anyone who didn't know the facts. Here, he is being a SCREEN SAVER.

He could literally run up the two flights of stairs, and could work a ten hour day as always. He made his delicious breads, and muffins, and kept the conversation at the breakfast table divided equally so that everyone had a chance to tell his story or adventure for the day. (He was always a gifted listener).

He would be touched by our tears today, as we remember his last day on earth, but he would not want us to stay there. He would give us permission to go where we want to go, and do what we want to do. Life is short, so flip the coin and see where God leads you today. Proverbs 16:33

The best Champagne...

In the middle of serving eight people breakfast, the phone rang. It doesn't happen often. It was from Illinois, the mother of a bride, calling to ask us to provide a beautiful bouquet and a bottle of the best Champagne for the newlyweds when they arrive on their honeymoon the next day. She wanted it put on her charge account, not on the room account. OK, we can do that.

I went back to the table, and told the guests what the request was, and told them we know nothing about Champagne. What should we get?

David from San Diego got up and went into his bedroom, and came back out with a chilled bottle of some kind of "Dom" Champagne, and told us this was the best. He owns his own pharmaceutical company, and claims to be a connoisseur of wines and Champagne in particular. No reason to doubt him. Everyone discussed their favorites, and made their own suggestions.

After the guests had gone on to their activities for the day, Bob and I went to Foodland, the local market in the Princeville Center (there is no actual liquor store) to try to find the Champagne. As we were standing there before the chilled wines, a youngish man volunteered to tell us all about the ones there. He convinced us of one on sale for only $49.99 that he said everybody loves.

Since we already have bouquets in the guest rooms, we decided to buy two gorgeous leis. We reasoned that the bride and groom can wear them everywhere, and get more enjoyment out of them (and attention). We placed these things in the little refrigerator in the Honeymoon Suite, with a note that said they were from the bride's mother.

The newlyweds Craig and Jennifer arrived that evening.

Everyone hung around the breakfast table next morning, drinking coffee until about 10:00, telling of their adventures the day before, their favorite beaches, their favorite restaurants. Then the subject changed to weddings when the newlyweds came in. They had gotten married at The Green Church, in Hanalei (photograph in an earlier Blog). They thanked us for the gifts (from her mom) in the fridge. We had them go get the leis and put them on. During breakfast, Jennifer's lei came apart, so I dashed to the market and was able to replace it.

A few days later, Jennifer came out of their room to say that Craig was sick with the same stuff she'd had, a cold, laryngitis and a fever. Next morning, I made "Sam's Simple Quiches", using Alice's delicate, rich, crisp, tender pie shells (that's another story), and fixed triple berry smoothies, and had lots of sliced papaya, and fresh pineapple. Jennifer said Craig's fever had broken, but he was sleeping. She told him about the homemade quiche, and later took him a breakfast tray, and he finished every crumb. They told us that any time we come to Chicago, we can stay with them. :-)

Craig told us that his dog has already left him for Jennifer.

Bob quipped, "Good trade!"

Oh, the name of that Champagne which we couldn't find, was Dom Parignon.

Real men eat quiche...

Keeping track of my menus, so that I didn't repeat one too soon was pretty tricky. If we had a couple here for only three days, that was easy. And another for five days, that was fine. But if a couple stayed ten days, then they got stuck with having the same thing... again.

I could vary the smoothies, each day, by using a different fruit juice such as pineapple one day, and guava juice the next, and maybe passion fruit juice the next. That helped. And I could make different kinds of muffins. But I needed variety in my main courses.

So, when Sherri came to help with the housekeeping, she offered her mother "Sam's" Simple Quiche recipe. It was a hit. Not only was it easy, but delicious, and by adding real bacon bits, or slivers of ham, it was always a hit. Each quiche served 4 people, so it was easy to double.

SAM'S SIMPLE QUICHE

Find one 9" pie shell in the freezer.

Bake at 400 for about 10 minutes.

Filling: 3 eggs, 3/4 c. milk, 2 c. grated cheese (Swiss or cheddar)

Salt, pepper, pinch of nutmeg.

Beat eggs, add milk, fold in cheese.

Pour into pie crust.

Bake at 400 for 15 minutes, lower to 350 and bake 30 minutes more.

For variety, sprinkle real bacon bits over crust before filling, or

Sprinkle chopped thinly sliced ham over the crust, then fill.

Or cut tiny broccoli florets and add to the egg mixture.

Or chopped onions, mushrooms, shrimp, or cooked spinach.

Done when knife comes out clean.

Put foil over crust edge to prevent burning.

I served this with fresh sliced papayas, fresh cut pineapple, sliced strawberries, and warm muffins, or Bob's good bread. Even the men enjoyed it.

Bananas are tricky...

Planted at the back corners of the house, were several banana trees. Then, there were those planted in two rows, like a grove, close to the golf course, on the right side of the house. And a whole clump of them planted down in the swale.

Herb taught us to watch for the ones which were ripening first. The huge reddish- purple blossom (similar to a Magnolia blossom) hangs down about a foot from the end of the banana stock. When you look inside the blossom, there are more "baby bananas," which will never grow up. As the bananas mature, the four ridges on each fruit smoothes out, and when they are completely smoothe, that's the time to cut the stock from the tree. But only if you have a strong man with strong shoulders, or a wheelbarrow with you. The weight can be 25 to 50 pounds or more.

Bob learned to make a slip knot in a rope, to slide over the cut end of the stock, and with my help to hoist it onto huge hooks in the garage. As each "hand" of bananas began to turn yellow, we would slit the "hand" off and bring it inside for use in the kitchen. Fresh and sweet. Mmmmm.



In the winter months, the bananas seemed to ripen more slowly, and we got anxious about cutting off a stock. We had watched it grow for 4 or 6 weeks, and finally, to prevent anyone from helping themselves to "our" bananas, Bob cut the stock off. We were so proud of our hard work. But...

When Herb got back from vacation and saw the stock, with four ridges on each banana, he knew we'd wasted the whole thing. Now, none of the bananas on that stock would finish ripening. We had cut it before it was time. Remember, they were supposed to be smoothe?

When a stock has been cut off, then the most amazing thing has to be done. The WHOLE tree has to be cut down, and dragged off to the ravine, where it will become food for the jungle plants. And after a while, a baby banana tree ("Keiki") will come up where the parent tree had grown. And it begins the cycle again.

The inside of the trunk is just like wet strings, running full length of the tree. It is extremely heavy, and it appears to me that each string goes to a banana, giving it nourishment and moisture. Kind of like corn silks which go to each kernel of corn on a cob. We were warned to be careful to not get any of this juice on our clothes, as it stains badly. They were right!